A little backstory about this blog…
Having just turned 50 (yesterday), I have had an epiphany.
It is almost too cliché to have a mid-century epiphany, and my wonderful astrologer friend L will say it has something to do with my Kyron return, but the reality is that I unconsciously set this whole thing in motion gave myself an amazing 50th birthday present—a week of intensive training in Nia, a fusion movement form that has a large spiritual component.
After spending five days in my body, dancing for hours and experiencing joy and freedom of movement I haven’t felt since childhood, my group of trainees and I were examining the Nia principle that deals with creating a sacred livelihood and determining if we are accruing a cosmic salary that fills up our joy tank. That stopped me cold in my tracks, and I had a “Dorothy in the Emerald City” moment.
Not only has joy been elusive for quite some time, my day-to-day existence has actually become spiritually and emotionally painful. I spend every day devoting all of my energy to my job, leaving little, if anything for the people I love and the activities I enjoy. For the better part of two years, I have been running on fumes.
Not only has joy been elusive for quite some time, my day-to-day existence has actually become spiritually and emotionally painful. I spend every day devoting all of my energy to my job, leaving little, if anything for the people I love and the activities I enjoy. For the better part of two years, I have been running on fumes.
And I have been wearing the ruby slippers all along!!!
So, I gave myself permission to change my life.
So, I gave myself permission to change my life.
This blog is a chronicle of that change, and I will say at the outset, I have no idea where I will end up. I only know that I need to shift my focus and my energy to those people and activities that bring me joy and peace, and literally leave behind anything that drains my energy and sucks on my soul. I don’t have any illusions about the heavens opening up and a chorus of angels singing, so I am strapping in, knowing that this will be a bumpy ride.
Let the journey begin…
Welcome to the fifties, where my life has also begun! I have made a conscious effort to keep learning, and today, I found 2 new things I didn't know about! Your blog and "Nia"!
ReplyDeleteYour words are powerful and your life is quite parallel to mine, I started my blog for a change in my life as well!
The 50s have been a bumpy ride for me. I have a "guilt" factor I have been working on dissolving slowly, as I also try to keep people from using the word "should"...at least old busy bodies who have no idea who I am and no business telling me what I should be doing!
I am looking forward to watching your ride (& mine!)! May it be even more exciting and breathtaking as it can get!
And...bumpy it has been, NanSea! I finished three months of preparations for an historical homes tour that brought about 1,000 people through my house...and I promptly broke my foot. Apparently walking has become a dangerous activity for me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it put me in a position to ask for help, NOT to be the caretaker for a while, which caused quite a bit of interference in the system since that was a role reversal met with more than a little resistance. Thank goodness for a therapist who can help me parse it all out. And shed the guilt, as well.
Oh Crap! A broken foot sounds painful!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I went out to Ohio to visit Kitty & Fiona & meet you, but also to see your house! I LOVE old houses. My husband has finally accepted that we can ride by brand new megamansions and I hardly bat my eyes...but if there is an ancient, dilapidated house needing tons of rehab, TLC and bucks...he knows I'm salivating and seeing it's charm and good bones, and envisioning it transformed!
I have been the caretaker for a few people the past couple of years and am learning how to stop, cold turkey..kind of. The guilt is the hardest part, so good luck with that. There has been lots of resistance here as well, which I expected, but also a surprising amount of unexpected support (of which I feel guilty and/or I don't deserve! Damn it!)
Here's to you shedding your guilt & your foot healing quickly, as you slowly savor your new role as NOT the caretaker!