Transition is HARD

I am now entering week three of my "transition," and I have to say, I am struggling.  I know a few things about myself.  I like routine, knowing where I am going, what I am doing and how I need to do it.  For the past three weeks, I have been improvising.  I am back in a place that is definitely familiar, and although everything is the same, everything is different, too.  And I have to learn all over again.  I recognize that part of my struggle is the pressure I put on myself to know enough to be the "expert" (that would be a GREEN in True Colors analysis--http://www.true-colors.com/content.php). So, this has been the equivalent of a cram fest at work...my full-time part-time job.

But it's not just at work.  I have a lot of transition at home, too.  A change in lifestyle due to a salary reduction, a reduction in the level of health care benefits to which I have grown accustomed (I didn't realize how fortunate I was until I realized that my "new" insurance means that doctors I have gone to for 30 years are all 'out-of-network'), and even a change in internet and email providers because part of the transition is cutting back on finances.

Add to all of that the pain I have been dealing with for months (torn shoulder and broken foot), and I am not in the best position to deal with rapid onset change.  But deal I must.  Thank goodness that I have a mostly supportive spouse who stands firm when my crazy surfaces.  Which it does under extreme stress.

I am, however, confident that this too shall pass.  I opened a letter from my Nia trainers that I wrote in May, and it reminds me of the place I need to be.  So...I am making the effort to put myself in that place.  That place where I can celebrate my small victories (and large ones...today we conducted a transaction that most people wait a lifetime to accomplish), where I can tune in to what is happening in my psyche, and where I put my health (both physical and mental) as a priority above all of the rest.

And most of all, I need to do what my therapist recommends...breathe.  Breathe deep and slow into the places that need it most.  I have an appointment next week with a cranio-sacral therapist to move some energy around, I have planned a weekend around enjoyable social activities, and I am going to head up to the third floor and do some PT for my shoulder in the hopes that surgery won't be necessary.  Also, I am thankful for all of the people in my life who send their love and support my way, whether or not I see them every day.  I love the "family" I have gathered in my life. 

And tomorrow will be a better day.

This is my funny for the week...from the Late Night Slice truck at Hot Times: